Saturday, December 10, 2011

There's Lipstick on My Pigskin


"He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."                    --Torrin Polk, University of Houston Wide Receiver

Double Team: Playing two defensive players against one offensive player in order to prevent him from making a play.

Girl Football Speak: (Double Team) When you take a girlfriend to the Nordstrom's 10-hour private sale. This sale requires a "double team" to stop someone from grabbing the item you've been eyeing for the past 15-minutes.





Two Minute Warning: A official's timeout at the end of each half that signals just two minutes remain.

Girl Football Speak:  (Two Minute Warning) Alert! Low Inventory! Only TWO pair of Manolo Blahnik 'Olte" Suede Stripe Leopard Print Boots left.


Home Field Advantage: The benefit a team gets by playing games in its own stadium.

Girl Football Speak: (Home Field Advantage) Home MALL advantage is enhanced by familiarity with the store layouts, food court, and friendships previously established with the sales associates for inside sales knowledge. And, of course, the lack of required travel. Less gas means more money for shopping!


Hang Time: The amount of time in which a punted ball remains in the air.

Girl Football Speak: (Hang Time) The amount of time a new outfit could potentially hang in your closet before you find the perfect shoes to match it.


Face Mask: 1. The bars attached to a football helmet that cover a players face. 2. A foul for grabbing an opponent's face mask.

Girl Football Speak: (Face Mask) Running to the supermarket without a full face of make-up to pick up a last minute item for dinner. The Face Mask only requires mascara, lip gloss and BIG sunglasses!



T-Formation: An offensive formation that features three running backs in the backfield. From above, the center, quarterback and running backs appear to be lined up in the shape of a T.

Girl Football Speak:  (T-Formation) The inside code word for "cocktail hour". Where we meet after a long day of shopping to enjoy a "mar-T-ini"!



Snap: The action in which the ball is thrown or handed by the center to the quarterback, to the holder on a kick attempt, or to the punter.

Girl Football Speak: (Snap)  Sold! The sound of the magnetic closure on your Mulberry handbag after you put away your credit card.


End Zone:  A 10-yard section stretching the width of the field at both ends of the playing field.

Girl Football Speak: (End Zone) Fitting room code word for: Do these jeans make my ass look big?!?



Pump Fake: A move the quarterback uses to deceive the defense by moving his arm in a throwing motion in the direction of a receiver, but holding onto the ball and drawing it back to throw in another direction or area of the field.

Girl Football Speak: (Pump Fake) A girl who buys replica Prada shoes. 



Wild Card: The two playoff berths given in each conference to the two non-division winning teams that have the best record in the conference.

Girl Football Speak: (Wild Card) The moment when you hold your breath hoping you haven't maxed-out your credit card, but you're ready to try card number two, three, or four.


Super Bowl: The National Football League's championship game.

Girl Football Speak:  (Super Bowl) Receiving your American Express bill and finding out you have enough reward points for two, front row seats at Fashion Week in NYC!


I Scored! Did YOU? 



 There's Lipstick on My Pigskin will be released Summer 2013. Stay Tuned!  




No comments:

Post a Comment