|Hang Cane, Moon-Doggie|
I have this crazy idea of becoming the Middle Aged Gidget. Don't laugh...I'm serious! So, I ask myself, how do I achieve this goal?
1) Do I take surfing lesson and pray the great white shark confuses my wrinkly skin as pink slime, and not suitable for consumption?
2) Do I hang at the beach and ask for a guest appearance on Jersey Shore as the Joisey house mom? I'm sure I could pull off the look and accent, or at least get a few of my friends to endorse my audition. Well, they've already flooded Rosetta Stone with e-mails requesting that I be hired as the voice-over actor for Rosetta Joisey. Danks! Youse guys are da best!
3) Do I contact Aqua Net and ask for sponsorship? I'm willing to be their spokesperson and endorse the new campaign slogan: Cougar Hair In A Can.
4) Do I allow my body to be video taped wearing a bikini? Imagine the notoriety I'd get from uploading a video on how to care for your finest leather.
5) Do I approach Doublemint Gum and ask them to create a product that acts as a denture glue, then the excess glue becomes chewing gum? They could call it: Pack & Smack.
6) Do I... oops, gotta run. Sorry for the quick exit, but the lifeguards are pulling everyone out of the water for a cougar sighting! They could be pointing at ME!
~ OCD (Debbie)